What is your age?

I am 32 years old (as in, I completed 31 in November 2021, currently in my 32nd year, and will complete 32 years in November 2022). So, I am running 32 and would like to say that I am 32 years old and not 31 and half and whatnot. Be proud to have those years on you, folks! 

But that’s on Earth. If I had spent the last 32 earth-years on Mars, I would currently be 17 years old (ooo…nice!). And then there’s dog-years. If I had spent the last 32 human-earth-years as a dog, I would currently be a 4-year old dog (I wish!). Contrary to popular belief, 1 dog-earth-year is not equivalent to 7 human-earth-years.

All that confusion aside! Let us bring some new confusion to the table.

I am 32 years old, but my cardiovascular health and other health indicators (often called biomarkers) might state otherwise. A sedentary 32 year old smoker’s health might indicate that their respiratory and cardio performances reflect those of a 60 year old - almost twice the original age. Wait…original age?

Tidbit - For the sedentary 32 year old, 32 years is the chronological age and 60 years is the biological age.

Then there is the “how old do you feel” age. Now, this is different from mental age and emotional age. In fact, I couldn’t find a term that defines the age one “feels”. Mental age is an indicator of intellectual performance (IQ or Intelligence Quotient is a valid metric), whereas emotional age is an indicator of emotional intelligence (EQ or Emotional Quotient is a valid metric) - how you handle emotions.

So, here’s the deal - the sedentary individual with a chronological age of 32 years and a biological age of 60 years can have the mental age of a 20 year old and the emotional age of a 40 year old. 

Science can help determine your ages. And there’s all this research done to increase mental and emotional age, and decrease biological age. One researcher calls his work “an exploration into the future of intelligent life”. Another talks about “resetting the genetic code to slow, stop or even reverse ageing”.

For science, right? (Find references in the comments section)

Either way, the chronological age stays put unless the Earth, the Moon, and the Sun opt-out.

So, Earthling…tell me - what is your age?

Me: 32 years if you want to know whether I can “legally” drink, smoke, drive or hump all day.

Also me: 17 years if you dare come to me with the dont-you-wanna-be-a-mom thing!

More of me: 83 years if you challenge me to skip my dinner and/or bedtime!

Also more of me: 20 years if you put on some karaoke, set up a dance floor, and bring in more 20-year-olds!

And finally, me again: Why the scamper, Earthling? What happened to simply growing old?