The Forced Hierarchy
Picture you are waiting by the roadside, ready to cross, in an area with no zebra or pedestrian crossings but a rush of charging vehicles. There are a couple of others, whom you are spending the time with, ready to cross the road along with you. You can probably relate to what happens next - you hold hands, you look right and you look left, and you sprint…holding tight.
Sometime over the past few months, thanks to a lot of travel, this common occurrence caught my attention. But what piqued my interest is the order in which people position themselves relative to the approaching vehicles. There is always somebody who leads and this is especially true for families. It is always the dad who stays closest to the approaching vehicles. The mom will be close behind or holding onto the kids on the other end of the chain. If there is no dad in the sighting, position #1 was the mom or, at times, a child and the mom holding onto him. Yes…him. It is always the boy child who leads. Taller than his mom, with sturdy steps and the confidence of a warrior…he leads. The indestructible force…he protects. The girl child is always made to follow. Mom shifts positions depending on who is present. And, of course, the dad, if present, always leads. This is the norm and the biggest revelation is that all this happens automatically…unprompted. It’s like…everybody knows what role they should play.
When I first started thinking about this practice - somebody always leading a crossing - I wanted to question the hierarchy for its nonsensicality. It does not matter who leads. If a vehicle crashes in, everybody will most likely die. And if only the leading parties die, then how difficult would life be for the trailing parties? Why would you want to do that to them? So what’s the logic in the hierarchy?
But as I started writing, I realized that the hierarchy is based on a hardwired unquestionable logic deeply rooted in sexism. The young boy is trained to lead and the girl to follow…a trait they carry on through to their adult life. It is a forced hierarchy where the male must protect and the female must be saved, displayed proudly, and romanticized in stories both virtual and real. A forced hierarchy…ingrained into us…irrespective of our wants and needs.
